2. I feel most relaxed when I feel physically and emotionally safe – In the early weeks, months I feel safest when I can feel the people who love me nearby. You are my safe base.

3. I love to feel loved – Shower me with as much love and delight as you can possibly muster inside of you. There’s no such thing as too much love!

4. I’m working hard to understand what you are saying to me – Speak the verbal, physical, emotional, social, etc. languages you want me to learn. I’m listening and taking it all in and soon enough I will be speaking them back to you.

5. I am very sensitive – I’ve been inside of my mom for nine months. I’m thrilled to be out here experiencing this big beautiful world but I need you to realize that things are much more heightened and intense for me and I can get overwhelmed easily.

6. Be gentle and slow with transitions – It can be scary when things go too fast and can often leave me feeling feeling abandoned or invaded. I know that’s not your intention but sometimes that’s how it feels.

7. I love to play – Get in sync with me and follow my lead in this arena, I’m a master at the art of play.

8. I can’t verbally tell you how I am feeling – but I am showing you how I am feeling through my body motions, facial expressions and emotional communications.

9. It takes a village – My emotional needs are pretty big. I know you can’t do it all. And I don’t expect you to. It’s fun to be surrounded by lots of people who love me, who love us. I enjoy being with people who are relaxed and rested and if that means you having breaks and me being with other people who love me, please do it.

10. Make your life great – I feel safe and secure when you are feeling joyful. Taking time to take care of yourself benefits all of us. I promise.

Also, check out this beautiful, soothing video of a bath.

And for even more on being with brand new people, check out my book CALMS A Guide To Soothing Your Baby

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This weekend…

remember

to make space.

Around your thoughts.
Around your feelings.
Around your children.
Around your partner.
Around your work.
Around your tasks.
Around your fears.
Around your wonderings.
Around your mind.
Around your heart.

Whatever, whomever, where ever, just allow there to be

s  p  a  c  e.

Feel free to comment below and share how you plan on making space this weekend.

Here’s to a spaciously spacious day and weekend!

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If you struggle with meltdowns and unsavory behavior, On Toddlerhood is for you.

If you feel overwhelmed physically and emotionally, On Toddlerhood is for you.

If you feel like there is something missing in your relationship with your little one or you want to know how you can stay connected through the days, months and years, On Toddlerhood is for you.

If you’re wanting maximum cooperation AND connection – without having to give one up for the other – On Toddlerhood is for you.

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On Toddlerhood is a content-rich course that gives you a clear and simple roadmap for navigating family life during this phase of development with ease and joy.

In just 6 weeks you’ll be looking through an entirely different set of parenting eyes, and my guess is that life as a parent will never be the same for you.

Jump in and get yourself and your family on track for maximum cooperation,  connection, ease and joy!

Let’s be honest – in a perfect world, every single parent on the planet understands why kids do what they do. And each and every parent feels fully equipped to expertly guide their little growing people as they unfold into who they are, essentially.

What’s fantastic is that – this possibility can be a reality.

No lie.

This profound connection to children comes from new knowledge which hasn’t been widely available. Until now.

I created a brand new program that offers laser-focused parenting guidance. What you gain from this program is a quantum leap in your understanding of human development, which brings more joy to parenting and allows you to experience way more ease in the day to day of family life.

Check out this video to learn more!

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I created this evolutionary program called
On Toddlerhood, which is part of my developing series,
On Humanhood. (These programs are the result of my expertise, insight, and experience…OnHumanhood. ;)

I’m excited to offer OnToddlerhood because through the years, I’ve received a lot of feedback from parents wishing I had an accessible program that brings sound advice and offers a roadmap to navigate these interesting years of parenting young children.

On Todderhood does exactly that.  So go check it out, jump in, and get yourself and your family on the path of joy and ease!

Brimming with excitement,

p.s.  There are three ways you can experience the On Toddlerhood course: so have a look and see which course experience most resonates with you.

p.p.s. Know a parent of a toddler or young child? The self-guided course is a super affordable, crazy thoughtful, life changing, make you their favorite person ever – gift!

Looking at little people with a completely fresh set of eyes is more than likely the best thing that parents can do for themselves and their kids right now.

Watch the video, and stay tuned for some (exciting!) goodness coming your way tomorrow.

Oh, be sure to enlarge the video. It’s extra delightful that way!

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A special thanks to my dear friend Ron Pippin over at Shiny Object for this fun and fabulous video. His next one is even better.

My wish for you:

Let loose
Go crazy
Have fun
Do a jig
Make a mess
Take a breath
Live it up
Laugh like crazy
Take a nap
Say something silly
Eat what you want
Take another nap
Be with your kids
Don’t be with your kids
Soak in the love, love, love!

Whatever you do this Sunday…

Make it great!

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Happy Mother’s Day, all you beautiful mamas out there.

Thanks for all you do for the little growing people. It’s monumental and most appreciated.

xo,
Carrie

For example, what do you do when a child continues to hit a sibling or pet? I’ve said to him, “we don’t hit people”, “our dog is our friend and we don’t hit her”, etc, but oftentimes he’ll just ignore me and continue hitting.

Or another example might be jumping off the couch. If I tell him that we don’t jump off the couch, or that I’d like him to stop (and this might be multiple times), sometimes he’ll either tell me ‘no’ or just keeps doing what I’ve asked him not to.

I know that in some instances I could offer another alternative (like, if he needs to hit, he can hit pillows; or if he wants to jump, we can go outside to jump), but other times it’s just not feasible to do that. I’ve told him before that if he can’t stop whatever unsavory behavior he’s doing then he’ll have to take a break by himself in his room, but I’m conflicted on whether or not I think that that’s the best thing to do. Aside from what I’ve mentioned, I’m out of tricks. Do you have any advice?

He’s still little (not even three yet, right?). He needs way more attention for the behaviors you want more of and way less attention for the things you don’t.

Continue to give him the yes’s (“we hit pillows, we hit couches. We don’t hit people or animals…”)

If hitting the dog is an issue lately, spend some time in the morning (and throughout the day) reminding him that the dog is our friend and we need to be gentle. We touch kindly.

If you see him going toward the dog, try to intervene and redirect his attention without mentioning the dog. You might say, “Oh my, look at that bird outside. Come, let’s look at it). Catch him and give him positive playful energy BEFORE he gets to the dog. This may mean you are kind of shadowing him for a little bit. Try it for a day or two and see what happens. If he senses he can get your full attention without messing with the dog it’s possible that he will diminish that behavior.
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If he does hit the dog, as calmly as you can walk over and quietly say, “no sir. You may not hit the dog” and physically move his body away from the dog. Without a lot of energy. Less energy then you would give him for doing the things you DO want him to do.You can go to his room with him and just be there calmly. He may freak out, he may not. Either way just be very neutral. Any talking or trying to teach the lesson at that point is not going to get you the desired outcome.

He needs to feel less energy from you for doing that behavior than more. If you want to learn more about this philosophy you can check out a book called “Transforming the Difficult Child” (I don’t love that title but the book is very good). There’s also a good section on boundaries in “Brain Rules For Babies.”

Bottom line: Give him a clear sense of what is ok, lots of love and attention when he’s doing things you want more of, and then clear and in the moment redirecting when there is undesirable behavior happening.

Make sure the energy for positive stuff are FAR OUTWEIGHING the energy for negative stuff.

Finally, it’s important to realize that all of this is going to take time. But the first steps are to give MORE energy and attention to what you want and far less energy and attention to what you don’t want.

And make sure he has lots of time and space to be very active and physical. Boys his age are VERY active and they need lots of time to throw and run and roughhouse. If they don’t get it it will come out on people and animals.

I hope this is helpful. Please let me know your thoughts.

Like this topic? Cool!
I’m launching a new program specifically for Toddlers soon!

Play is one of my favorite things. As humans, we learn through play, we delight in play, we grow in play.

But for many, that freedom to play gets trained out of us. The thing is – play for your little ones is crucially important for their development. In this talk, Play Is More than Fun, It’s Vital, Play Researcher Stuart Brown makes an excellent case for the importance of play, not just in childhood, but throughout life.

And I share this with you, not to make you feel like there’s one more thing on your list of to-dos. In fact, I share this with you to help accomplish your list! Connecting and playfully guiding your little one brings ease and joy into the (sometimes irrationally frustrating) tasks of tying shoes, brushing teeth, making dinner, and and and!

Check out two stories from participants in my Evolve Program about how they find play in parenting.

When I don’t feel well, I can lay on the couch or floor and entertain the girls for a long time being their patient. If I get a brand new (clean) toothbrush and floss pick, they love brushing my teeth and flossing them. They love playing doctor to my patient and taking care of me. It is interactive, imaginative, connecting play all while I get to lay down and rest. win-win. : )

……..

Timers are FUN. Often I feel like getting the timer out somehow is NOT fun and is in fact a consequence. But these are just my feelings. For my son timers are FUN and I need to see it from his perspective. Often we get the timer our at dinner time because he can be so distracted and dinner is no fun for anyone when I’m constantly reminding him to eat… IT all shifts when we get the timer out. He picks the time, sets it, and then the eating just magically happens. It’s a contest he wants to win. He’s NOT shoveling food down, but he is eating and keeping track of the time and dinner takes on a whole new attitude.*

I encourage you to take some time and make a list of ways you can start to incorporate a playful attitude, and actual moments for play, into your parenting. When the list is already developed, you’re more likely to use it. Stretch and flex that play muscle, then you’ll be improving and playing in no time. And if you are at a loss for ideas, I’ve included 60 ideas –> .
This list is a combination of some of my favorite people’s ideas and a bunch of my own. I recommend you pull from this list and/or create your own to suit the needs of your family.

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Finding the Play in Parenting

1. Dance party! – put music on and dance dance dance
2. Kick a ball outside
3. Roll cars down the hallway
4. Stack blocks into huge tower
5. Sandbox time!
6. Jump on the bed
7. Board games
8. Chase around the house
9. Playing toss with soft objects into laundry basket
10. Snowball fight with cotton balls
11. Toilet paper fight – you can use the mess as a future paper towel
12. Tissue bonanza – let each child have their own box of tissues to do as they wish
13. Collect rocks in backyard
14. Make a sheet tent
15. Animal noise time!
16. Wrap up random objects around the house and open them like presents
17. Play hide and seek
18. Music instrument time
19. Family yoga time
20. Sing ‘Head Shoulders Knees and Toes’ as slow and then as fast as you can
21. Spin around in circles in the backyard
22. Call or Skype with loved ones
23. Draw pictures of each other
24. Make funny faces in the mirror
25. Paint our toe nails
26. Play follow the leader about the house
27. Qtips – use them for any and everything they aren’t designed for!
28. Glue things together
29. Popsicle stick art
30. Make popsicles
31. Bake cookies
32. Chop veggies
33. Play-dough
34. Wash plants
35. Plant seeds in cups and place by the window
36. Pillow fort in the living room
37. Living room camp out
38. Blanket on the grass
39. Look for shooting stars
40. Hide and seek
41. Neighborhood walk
42. Eye spy
43. Massage
44. Tell stories of when everyone was a baby
45. Challenges
46. Nature collage
47. Experiments with food
48. Food coloring on coffee filters
49. Blow bubbles
50. Obstacle course
51. Please and thank you game
52. I’m so…mad, sad, frustrated, excited, happy, tired… pick an emotion and run around playing how you can express it
53. Make up silly words
54. Freaky Friday – pretend you are the kid and the kid is the adult
55. Breakfast for dinner
56. Draw together
57. What if…
58. Puddle jumping
59. Look for worms – anywhere in the house!
60. Look at family photos and tell stories, even let them make up stories about people they don’t know

*Craving more good stories? Check out my bestie’s compilation - Slow Family Living!

Not what do you do because you have to or what’s your job. Not that.
I’m interested in knowing what makes your heart sing?
What thrills you to no end?
What brings you feelings of bliss and delight and joy and freedom?
What would you do if you could do anything, anything at all?

(And please note, it may be exactly what you are doing.)

Take five minutes right now and tell yourself (and me if you wish) what it is that you love doing with all your heart and soul.

Here’s a prompt:
If I had complete freedom from worrying about money and time and my current obligations I would…
(now set a timer and write without stopping for at least 5 minutes. Let your imagination go wild!)

Thank you, you lovely human being you!

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I’m talking about the times when that little growing person is doing the things that push your buttons and make you want to SCREAM (and sometimes you do)?

Well, it very often means SOMETHING’S COMING.
A new skill!
A new idea!
A new interest!
A new inch!
A new tooth!
A new state of being!
A new experience!
A new something that is going to make your little person (or any person really) more of who they are!

It means something so fantastic is about to POP that you will be shocked and delighted and you’ll slap your hand on your head and say, “Oh, you were growing. Of course that’s why you were acting that way. Something new was emerging and now it’s here. Hooray!”

And then it will happen again and again and again and again. For a long long long long time. And each time there will be more and more and more and more of that growing person to love.

When things get whacky and you start to question your child and your parenting remember and repeat this mantra…

Something’s coming!

Hop on over to Slow Family Living to read about what inspired this post and then comment below if you have a story to share. I love hearing from you.

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