The 3rd Pillar of Family Life: Partnership
Where does your relationship land?
This week, we’re focused on partnership – our third pillar of family life. In this post, I share a tool that’s *critical* for partnerships AND really useful in all your relationships.
One of my favorite teachers, John Gottman, has researched relationships for decades. He’s found that the partnerships that thrive – and are overall happier – have a 5 to 1 appreciations to criticisms ratio in their communications. That means for every one request, one suggestion, one criticism, there are five appreciations.
“I love you. I thank you. I am in awe of you! I adore you. I love having you as my partner!”
At this moment in time, where does your relationship land?
Are you giving 5 to 1?
10 to 1?
2 to 1?
For every one criticism, give five appreciations.
5 to 1.
Learn it. Live it. Love it.
Notice what your current pattern is and then try to amp it up. In fact, let’s start the ball rolling…now! Leave a comment and answer these questions. (If you’re in the groove, send the answers to your partner as well.)
With regards to my partner and our partnership, I’m appreciating…
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
My intention today as a partner is…
With regards to myself as a partner, lately I’ve learned…
I know that of the thousands of parents in my community that some are in committed partnerships and some are not.
My intention is to make this concept work for everyone.
>> If you are married or in a committed relationship, by all means, use the tools!
>> If you are currently single OR in a tenuous or challenging situation, I invite you to use this work to get clear on the type of relationship you would like to create.
>> If you are not interested in creating a relationship with someone else, spend the time exploring the relationship you have with yourself. (Because, yes, your littles are still watching you navigate partnership!)
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